100 Words – Mosquitoes and Prosthetics

The madness of topics continues over at the 100 word story podcast.  This week’s topic is equally as weird as the last.

hint: I wrote this story only after reading the wikipedia entry on mosquitoes.

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“Buzzalina, come dear, tell me what happened,” the surgeon said.

“Oh doctor, I’ll never be a mother now.  I should just kill myself; I’m useless.”

“There there, sweet, sweet girl.  Things will be okay.”

He held her while she wept.  No, she would never bare any children and she would probably ensure her own end.  A broken proboscis almost always means instant death, she was lucky.  One could call it a miracle from up above – a testament to the power of faith and the prayer of her family.

A.P. – Cybernetics Inc. releases organic flesh like covering for metal replacement limbs.

100 Words – Elvis, Choke, Fire? WHAT?!

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It was a rainy afternoon in Seattle when they got off the bus for lunch.  Eight homemade renderings of the King all sat around the teppanyaki table as the chef danced with razor sharp ginsu knives.  Gold Elvis clasped his hands around his throat, a large piece of beef wasn’t going down, and the Heimlich proved ineffective.

Gold Elvis writhed in panic and toppled a bottle of oil onto the griddle.  The flames ignited a White Elvis rhinestone cape triggering the sprinkler system.  Gold Elvis fell to the floor, an umbrella popped open.  The Benihana chef acted quickly with a Ginsu Tracheotomy.

“Beginners luck,” he said, wiping the blood on his apron.

100 Words – Telescope + surprise ending.

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Telescope

There are billions of stars in the sky.  Eastern philosophy says that man’s destiny is written in these red giants, supernovas, pulsars and constellations.  That’s what my Dad says anyway; he is an astronomer at UCLA.  He is my hero, and someday, I’ll be an astronomer, just like him.

When I was thirteen he got me a high powered telescope for my birthday.  I was lucky to have the upstairs room, and he was beaming proud that I used that telescope every day.  My father gave me the greatest gift a boy could ever want.  I gazed on the perfect symmetrical moons of Suzi Morris’s tits every single starry night.

100 words – Robots are Steampunky and Gross

This is my entry for the 100 word stories podcast this week.  The topic was Knock Knock

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read on -

Horace adjusted the windage and elevation knobs on the ruby crystal telescopic sight of his 67dm Sniper Rifle.  The knocking of the robots steel heart pounded at the drums in his ear.

‘One shot to open the can, another to put the bastard down,’ Horace thought to himself.

It was cold, damn cold.  His finger trembled on the trigger as he squeezed.  Before the noise of the explosive shot would reach the robot’s sensors, the chest would already be torn open.  The second shot would be well on its way to impact before the mechanical systems could respond.

Long live humanity.

100 Word Short Story – Falling Bricks Hurt

Well well well, Rusty Steel pulled through and won the competition.  That gives me two victories in it now, the Samurai Gardener being the other.  That means I got to pick the topic for this week and I selected the phrase, “falling bricks hurt.”  The audio bit here has some announcements as well so take a listen.

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Falling Bricks Hurt

     Justin wandered about in the shadows watching the fascinating people. He smelled the breads and listened to the pop of corks for hours before finally settling on the perfect sunny patch of grass to feast. Justin the turtle munched on the greenery of the city he loved, Paris.

     1,063 feet into the sky, Gaston Space Pierre ran back and forth on the observation platform of the Eiffel Tower, his parents not at all effective. A stray brick from a display for Gustave Eiffel found his palm. He tossed it over the rails.

     Justin looked up just in time to catch the impromptu solar eclipse to the head.