100 Words – Pirates!

Today is September 19th and that means it is talk like a Pirate Day!  So grab your yard arm, moisten up your mast, and listen to Salty Steve’s 100 word adventure.

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The Adventures of Salty Steve: Trouble at the ole bunghole.

“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” Salty Steve cried in pain holding his eye during his shift on the night watch.

A bung had popped out of a barrel and shattered on impact. He looked on in panic as grog spilled out onto the deck and did the only thing he could. That night, the air dropped below freezing temperatures.

Morning.

A knock on Captain’s door.

“Captain! Steve stuck it in the grog sir!”

The wooden door creaks open.

“I reckon any time is right for grog. Steve’s put a cock-valve in it then?” the Captain asked.

“Nay sir, no valve.”

100 Words – Peas in a pod

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The Starship Peaseria sat in dead-space for forty hours under a constant barrage of high intensity laser bursts from the Admiral’s large freighter. Their engines burned up on the last light jump. Now all power was being directed to their shields while they plotted an escape.

The Admiral’s orders were to not destroy the Peaseria but they would not be taken, and time was precious. So he ordered the use of the microwave cannon to cook the crew inside and followed up with an accelerated particle ray to vaporize the ship.

Two crew members in an escape pod got out.

100 Words – A Full Set?

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Christmas came early for Tommy.

Two front teeth; man Santa rocked the Casbah this year. He had a full set of pearly whites before any of his friends.

On Christmas day, after all the presents were open, a single card remained in the tree.

To Tommy:

We regret to inform you that your federal health plan mandates a recall on your teeth. Times are tough and so is beef jerky to a senior citizen.

From Santa.

The brass bell on top of the tree suddenly came free and fell hard onto Tommy’s mouth ringing loudly.

A president got his wings.

100 Words – Over the falls in a barrel

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“…. he crawled in and sealed it up from the inside. I kicked him right into the river like he told me. Right has he went over the falls though, a flying saucer appeared and beamed him up. It was the craziest thing. Never saw Kirby again.”

The grandchildren rolled their eyes.

“They came for me the next night and …. where are you going?”

“Outside to play Grandpa, we are too old for your stories.”

Kickball in the backyard was short lived when the lights appeared in the sky. Grandpa put on his foil hat.

100 Words – Over/under

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Four boys walk across an old decommissioned railway bridge in the heart of the Sierra Nevada Mountain range. Vern, keeps tossing rocks over the rail to listen to the splash they make as they hit the river below.

“Dude, your disturbing the fish, cut it out,” says Gordie.

“Just one more.” Vern picks up a rock as big as his palm and tosses it. No splash.

He looks over the side of the railing. He sees his rock floating on something bare and bloated.

“You guys wanna go see a dead body?” he says to the others.