“He looks so real,” says a small voice below me.

‘Because I am real,’ I think to myself.

It has been 456 days since my drunken car accident that put the real Columbus statue to rest at the bottom of this quaint Balearic harbor. It has been 8 minutes since the last Gull released a torrent of hot white excrement on my head.

My ritualistic penance is the same every day. Wake up early, paint myself in this god awful smelling grey goop and climb this obelisk. My personal hell.

I point and they gawk. I really need to pee.

(100 Words)

PHOTO PROMPT – © Dee Lovering

PHOTO PROMPT – © Dee Lovering

Read More Friday Fictioneer Stories or Submit your Own.


April 30th, 2015

Posted In: 100 Word Stories, Friday Fictioneers

Tags: , , ,

  • Mick Lively

    Like being locked in the stocks: mediaeval punishment at its best.
    Clever take on the photo.

  • Ha. The ultimate in torture. 🙂

  • Amy Reese

    That would be torture. Very original story!

  • Ga H

    Oh, but there are possibilities… Scaring the most obnoxious comes to mind. Of course that would not make him more popular with the authorities… Great story.

  • Oh yes you could really raise some cane by making it rain bouncy balls on the hecklers.

  • I wouldn’t want to do it either. At least when it is over he can get a job as one of those “live” models. Thanks for stopping by Amy. 🙂

  • Patrick Prinsloo

    Terrific. I feel for him.

  • Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

    Dear Danny,

    Helluva way to do penance. Love the last line.



  • Russell Gayer

    Great story, Danny. I’ve just the pigeons for you. 🙂

  • Ha thanks Russell. 🙂 I was just thinking now that a Pigeon (in some extreme cases) could be called, “The Hobo Chicken.”

  • Lol! Would never have guessed how you ended that!

Friday Fictioneers – What if my nose itches?