Where in the world is Danny Sandiego?

In Exodus Moses goes up Mount Sinai to talk to God as a burning bush/tree/shrubbery. I like to imagine it was a berry bush. Moses no doubt got some hunger pangs listening to the Old Man read him the riot act to communicate to the Jacobites. He indulged. Don’t kid yourself. These are the factual origins of the first “Holy Crap.” So let it be written. So let it be done.

I share a relationship with this story/documentary/biblical-account-of-events in a few different ways. I went up the mountain and I did eat berries. Many MANY craps were had my friends. I even had a few different beards. I don’t think any of mine where anywhere close to the magnificence of a Moses beard. I mean how do you go up a mountain looking like Brian Wilson of the Giants and come back down looking like Gandalf? If I may barrow a quote from the urban youth, “Shit be crazy son.”

I’ve been absent from the world for a while now. I moved out of ole Chico California and headed up to Shingletown California for a little peace and quiet. This transition took place at the end of June and I’ve moved down into Redding at the beginning of this November in 2010 the year of our Lord.

Explanations are due for why I’ve moved around so much - but really that is my business so live your own life you damn stalker.

I will say this: “If you are in need of time to sort out your brain, work on some jigsaw puzzles, and get a lot better at playing an instrument then you need to spend your summer in a forest paradise like I did.”

 Let’s talk about the future!

 Now that I’ve been enlightened and scrawled out my tablets it is time to educate. I wrote a few scraps while I was up there but on the whole I didn’t do squat. I mostly ran around my basement, read muscle magazines, Mother Earth magazines, Backpacking Magazines, meditated, and stared outside a lot. Now that I’ve detoxed mentally I’ve got a fresh slate and it is time to cross some line items off the bucket list.

I’ve jumped straight into the fire with NanoWriMo this year and it is my intention to get involved in many different writing projects in 2011. I’m also going to be starting a structured Podcast show that will be unrelated to writing at all. Stay tuned for that in the future.

Lastly, here is an extremely professional and flattering photo I took recently for my modeling portfolio to indicate I’m not dead. It isn’t that I don’t think ghosts can’t live successful lives here on the internet – just that I’m not one. Let’s be real here. This is the perfect place for a ghost to live. Can you imagine the look on Chris Hansen’s face when TAPS shows up? Not to mention the ensuing seance would be of some historical significance.

 “… if there is an entity present with the Skype handle of JacobMarley69 here with us… give us a sign of your presence…”

 Cheese!

Luck? Or Something Else.

Constantly I am looking for proof, a sign, or some sort of something that tells me there are forces in this world beyond what I can sense with my silly short bus human brain. Tonight was one of those nights where I just had to smile and say, “Okay.” Let us start about two hours ago.

Come on! Hop in the Delorean, let’s go!

Whoooooooooooooooooooosh! pzt bzt pitsh bachowwwwwwrrrrmmmm

I decided it was time to finally sit down and tackle the problem a lot of us are facing. Debt. The cruel mistress and price of my greed for toys was piling up along with the anxiety of not knowing where I am at. So I figured it all out and figured out a reasonable payment plan to make it all go away. Every expense I have per month, what was left over, and what I had to live on was all planned out and calculated. So now I’m on the road to freedom.

Now, after a person figures out these things the last thing on their mind is spending money. However the hunger was setting in and I desperately needed some household items. So I turn out the pockets and the wallet to discover I’ve got $12 cash money, solid green backs, hard earned bones, mother effin’ doe ray mine. I look at my desk and scavenge the quarters from this weeks pocket change. I also open the junk drawer on my dresser looking for quarters; there were none, but I took a dime and two nickels just so opening the drawer was worth it. Tally before I left the house $13.70!

I decided to go to the only place I knew that could stretch money for days, Grocery Outlet. Trash bags took a solid chunk of the money at $6 bucks but I grabbed dinner and a loaf of bread anyway. The math in my head said I would be close but I should be alright. It isn’t like I don’t have any money in the bank but I wanted to see how far the cash I had would go. It was close! Way close!

So close I just had to say, “Thanks Universe!” You rock my world again!

Evolution and Documentation

Since about the age of nineteen I’ve prided myself on keeping memoirs of my life. I’m twenty five now so that is a few solid years of documentation. Depending on how my life is going I’ll make anywhere from 2 – 5 entries per year. When I was in college most of my entries were done around Christmas time while I was home from school and feeling the most reflective. Now I find that entries take place when I have been faced with some life altering realizations or some sort of trauma. The memoirs are a glorified high school girls’ diary. I can boohoo, curse, dream and fantasize about everything and anything. Last night I was making an entry (last one was in May of this year) and I found myself flipping back through time.

The beauty of the memoirs is that I place no rules on them. Some of the text is just blind jibberish where I could not be bothered with corrections at that time. Essentially I have been able to capture a snap shot of my mind during some of the most important events in my life. Reading back I started to notice there was no pattern. It is as though each entry was written by a completely different person. If it wasn’t for the consistency and actual follow up to previous entries you would think it was some sort of anthology where every author just tore a page out of their own personal journals.

I’ve always been on the quest you see. The quest for complete self definition. Consistency in this pursuit is evident at the root of every action, relationship, conversation and intellectual pursuit I’ve ever undertaken. I will only do things in life where the reward for failure is equal to the reward of success. Chew on that carefully.

My memoirs tell me that I’m always changing. Five years is beyond habitual abuse or even addiction to change; it is now a part of who you are. I think there is only one thing to do and that is to embrace it. Be comfortable with who you are today and be prepared to meet the new you tomorrow. We are all suffering from the exact same mild case of personality alzheimers.

September Updates – Audio Blog

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Download mp3

I had the mic hot tonight so I figured I’d record the blog post I’ve been procrastinating.

“Show notes”
- NaNoWriMo
- writing group
- Give Blood and Thanks
- work ethic
- daily writing diary

Jack Wakes Up – Seth Harwood

My copy of Jack Wakes Up

With any story you read there is a certain passage or line that hooks you in.  That one part that says, “oh hell ya.  This is how it’s done.”  I just finished Seth Harwood‘s Jack Wakes Up.  This was the part that did it for me:

“Yes, sir, this is the man here: Jack Palms,” Ralph says, stepping forward. He has a thick cigar in one hand and a scotch in the other. He sways as he moves. Jack realizes this is why Ralph asked him along: because he’s planning on spending most of his time in the bag.

“Jack Palms,” Al says, “let us share with you some blow.”

More laughs and then Jack watches Al, Ralph, and the others retreat to the couches. He can see a glass-top coffee table in the middle all ready to go, with the lines cut and set. Ralph sits down on one of the couches and starts rolling up a twenty.

Jack Wakes Up follows Jack Palms, the washed up movie star of “Shake’em Down.”  Jack finds himself in a financial situation that causes him to get involved with an old friend named Ralph Anderino.  Ralph ropes Jack into entertaining some out of town Czech’s interested in two things: scoring mountains of blow and haveing a good time.

Jack ends up in the middle of a story line that takes you to the hard streets of organized drug crime in San Francisco.  Czechs, Colombians, KGB, Gangsters, crooked cops, sex, drugs, fast cars, and a lot of guns; Jack Wakes Up was my introduction to crime fiction and “Danny like, Danny like very much.”

You remember that first time you saw Fight Club? You walked out of that theater thinking you were all American bad ass.  You looked at every guy, big or small you played the fight out in your head like a movie.  You walked close to them on the way out just hoping they would give you a reason.  A little comment, a wrong look, or maybe some disagreeable body language was all you would need to get in their face and say, “What mother effer? Take a swing.”  This is the same feeling you’ll get when you read Jack Wakes Up.

I find myself shifting between the different characters.  Maybe I’m Junius, not taking shit from anyone and demanding respect.  Maybe I’m one of the fearless Czechs never backing down from any fight; fists or guns, I’ll stay for that party.  Maybe I’m Jack Palms.  I’m a good looking actor, I have a ’66 Fastback that melts panties off women, and somedays bad shit happens to good people.  Seth does a great job of developing these characters.  I loved all of them.

On a personal level Seth is one of the authors I respect the most in the podcast novel community.  He podcasted it for free, he got the book deal, and he podcasts from his hot tub keeping it REAL about what the publishing world is all about.  Seth isn’t full of the flowery bullshit or whining about his trials and tribulations – we hear that from so many authors these days.  He hasn’t dropped off the map and gotten so involved in his success that he forgets about us (I won’t name names but you know when you are neglecting the people who made you).  Seth is one of the most educated well rounded guys in the game today and he is a great story teller.  When my debut podcast novel is ready I know Seth will have my back.

Jack Wakes Up is the first in a three part series of Jack Palms novels.

Get yourself a copy of Jack Wakes Up off Amazon.

Of course all of them are FREE for you to consume as podiobooks.  Click the pics below for links to the different Jack Palms novels.

Free: read the first three chapters of Jack Wakes Up as a PDF you can download now! (click to get)

Seth is a game changer for sure.  I identify with a lot of his philosophy about writing and publishing.  Of course the nature of the game is not to immitate but innovate.  This is where I come in as the new blood, the student, and the next BIG thing.  “Shake’em Up! Baby.”